Thursday, September 6, 2018

Pansy Bradshaw, it is your birthday today -- I miss you EVERY day -- but I miss you most on Saturdays. I miss our not so impromptu lunches, have yer gurl call is simple I miss you. 
September 6th, I knew this day was coming it always does.  It has been a day for celebration and continues to be so, only now the celebration is bittersweet.  Filled with memories, laughter, love, loss and joy.  Happy Birthday dear friend. You were my mentor, my spiritual advisor, my co-worker and at times my cohort. You knew when I needed a shoulder to cry on or when I needed to be told to snap out of it. But most of all you were my friend. 

As I placed a book order with a publisher yesterday, I thought of you.  There were so many titles on the list that brought you to mind.  Books I knew you would have to have, books that would make you roll your eyes.  Books for you, books you would want to give to others.  Books that you and I would share.  Books, beautiful books.  The new season of Dances with Words starts tonight.  I feel the loss of you strongly at these events.  You were always with me, carrying the books, supporting the authors, laughing with me, sharing an unspoken word as our eyes met when the words shared by these authors moved us.  You were there.  I miss you. 

You challenged me spiritually.  Taking me to a higher level of  understanding theology.  Helping me find my place of peace in this chaotic world.  Guiding me to find my own answers to my questions and doubts.  Showing me that your faith never wavered in a world where there were some that damned you to hell for being who you are.  You showed me how to close my eyes and let my soul tell my hands what to paint and create.  I love you for that and so much more.

Bill misses you too.  We miss our Sunday dinners and watching Six Feet Under.  We miss your presence in our lives. We miss you.  I see bits of you in the kids you helped raise.  They are all amazing and you sparked so much creativity in each of them.  You let them find themselves and helped them develop minds that seek and speak the truth.  They are walking this earth with you beside them.  We all are. 

A friend said it best "Life is just less interesting without you"   I hope you and my Mom get together in heaven and share a good hearty laugh and an egg salad sandwich. You left us too soon.